Severus Remembers
by little old lady
Summary: after Harry looks into the pensive, Snape recalls his past and how his life got so out of hand. OOTP spoilers
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer; I don't own any of this, it all belongs to J.K. thanks for reading it, I hope you enjoy it, and maybe you can give it a review?? Please!  
  
Chapter one - Severus Remembers.  
  
Severus Snape sat staring at the pensive on his desk. Fury seething from every pore as he thought about Potter, 'how dare he invade my privacy like that, he is nothing, no-one, God help us all if that's the saviour of the wizarding world!'  
  
Snape stood and paced in his office, rage still burning in his stomach every time he recalled Potter looking into his memories, memories he had specifically removed from his mind just in case Potter managed to throw the Legilimens spell back at him.  
  
"Harry Potter is an affront to the Magical community, he is not particularly smart, many wizards had more power than he does, and he is disobedient and disrespectful"  
  
"After his first year he should have come to me on his knee's thankful for my efforts to safe his sorry life, yet not once did he thank me or even give me the respect due to someone so obviously superior to himself" ranted Snape.  
  
"Then two years ago I put my life at risk once again to save his, but does he thank me! Does he even believe me, no he and his stupid little gang attack me and make me, ME, SEVERUS SNAPE, last of the Snape line look foolish, oh he will pay, this time he has gone to far!!!"  
  
"I risk my life for all of them and not once do they thank me! The whole lot of them deserve to rot in hell! Bloody students most of whom have no right to be here! Filthy muggle borns and half bloods, why do I even bother?"  
  
Snape sat down tired of the ranting, tired of the hatred, more than anything tired of the double life he led, Death-eater and confidant of Dumbledore, those two things should never have been done together. He knew that many in the order disliked and mistrusted him, some even hated him, but he didn't care, he had a debt to pay, and his father had always taught him that a Snape should never be indebted to anyone.  
  
Snape recalled his Father, a proud and powerful wizard who bowed to no man! Snape had been raised in a large manor with his old fashioned parents, he was not sent to primary school, as they were infested with muggles, he had a private wizard tutor.  
  
The memories of his tutor could still send a shiver down his spine, the man had been strict and unforgiving and Severus still had the marks on his legs from Master Huntington's cane. If he failed to recall a spell exactly, if he did not answer a question quickly enough or if he looked disrespectful he was rewarded by a hard whack across the legs from that cane.  
  
He could not complain to his father, for this would have resulted in more punishment for being disrespectful to his superiors. His childhood was a blur of beatings and shouting, Snape smiled when he thought about the rumours of Potter's childhood with those muggle relative's, if only the boy knew how the rest of the world lived, Potter would not feel quite so sorry for himself.  
  
Snape did not feel sorry for himself, in fact he was glad his Father and his Tutor had been so strict with him, after all Severus Snape was one of the top Apothecaries in the world. Few men had his knowledge of potions and few could match his determination and drive.  
  
Severus would never have be able to stand up in front of the Dark Lord had his upbringing not made him into the type of man he was. Just as strict and unforgiving in many ways as Master Huntington, though Dumbledore would never allow him to beat his students, pity really, maybe they would actually achieve more if he did. Severus smiled darkly at this thought.  
  
Young Malfoy's father had the right idea, like many of the older wizarding families Lucius believed in the old adage "spare the rod and spoil the child" and it showed in the respectful way that Malfoy treated him and the other Professors, well most of the other professor's.  
  
Thinking about Draco led to thoughts of Lucius which inevitably led to thoughts of the Dark Lord himself. Severus had joined the death-eaters with Lucius many years before, when he had truly believed that the Dark Lord could restore the purity of their community. For too long the mud-bloods had been allowed to breed themselves into the oldest families diluting the magic bringing with them their stupid cultures and traditions. Soon many in the magic world had started to question some of their oldest traditions. No longer did the old names command the respect due to them.  
  
Severus had found friendship for the first time in his life; he had been surrounded by men of power from families with blood-lines to equal his own. He had been happy. Until slowly it begun to change, they were no longer trying to simply re-instate the old ways, they were no longer careful not kill anyone, it became a sport, a competition to see who could kill in the most original fashion or who could kill the most people in one go, it disgusted Severus but by then he was afraid to object. He wanted them to remember their purpose, only to discover he had been mistaken about their purpose from the beginning.  
  
The Dark Lord's ambition was not to simply re-order the magical world and return to traditional values; it had become the destruction of the entire magical world, slaying any who stood in the way, muggles and pure-bloods alike. Until the fateful night Severus had been called to stand before the Dark Lord, and prove his loyalty. But the price of loyalty had been too great; Severus had searched desperately for an alternative solution. The only one that blazed in his mind had been Dumbledore.  
  
Severus opened his desk and retrieved a bottle of Fire-Whiskey, uncorked it and poured himself a large drink which he swallowed with a grimace then poured himself another, knowing that he would still feel just as bad in the morning, he drank himself into a stupor. "Why is my life such an inescapable mess!" he moaned. 


	2. Snape's betrayal

Disclaimer; I don't own any of this, it all belongs to J.K. thanks for reading it, I hope you enjoy it, and maybe you can give it a review?? Please!  
  
THANKS Avatar arkmage and Nigel 1 for the review, my first! I really appreciate it!  
  
Chapter 2 Snape's betrayal.  
  
Drinking always took Snape on a terrible journey into his past, why he still drank, knowing the consequences, he was unsure. Maybe reliving his past would help him feel some level of atonement. It hadn't worked so far.  
  
Snape opened his eyes and found himself taking his place in the circle of death-eaters. Even as his brain registered that he was safely in bed at Hogwarts, remembering the past, he felt the chill in his bones, he recognized the scene, Regulus Black was kneeling before The Dark Lord, kissing the edge of his robes babbling incoherently, begging mercy and forgiveness.  
  
But The Dark Lord knew nothing of these things; it was a trait that Snape had admired, up until this moment. The Dark Lords voice echoed around the circle, he spoke barely above a whisper yet all assembled could hear him clearly. Snape analyzed this, detached momentarily from the scene, the whisper was so much more effective than shouting, everyone barely breathed for fear of missing his words, it was a clever ploy.  
  
"You have disappointed me Black, I thought you loyal! When your Lord asks for your services surely you should hasten to accomplish the task?"  
  
"I am so.sor.sorry.master but I could not Lord, I didn't have the strength. please give me a chance.I am truly ashamed of my weakness Lord, I should leave here, you should banish me." Black sobbed.  
  
Many of the death-eater shuffled, Snape could sense the building excitement. They knew what was coming. They waited like children unable to contain themselves opening a present.  
  
"Regulus Black what are your Lords aims?" Whispered the Dark Lord.  
  
"To purify our world. Free it from blood-traitors. Re-instate the old values." Came the reply.  
  
"Yet you could not kill one blood-traitor, one who defiles our kind, one of the precious few metamorphmagus left, she married a filthy muggle and diluted her precious genes by birthing his half blood child. Andromeda Black deserves to die; your own family disowned her! Yet you can not even accomplish this simple task!"  
  
"She is.she was. she's my cousin Lord, I have known her all my life" replied Black. "If we killed her husband and the.the.child.surely that is better, I.she.well.maybe she is valuable to us.I.mean to you.alive, Lord" Black was grasping at straws now, hoping to find an escape route.  
  
"You would lead us Regulus, you would try to over throw your lord?"  
  
"No master, I am your servant.I would not presume to know what is for the best, forgive me" whimpered Black.  
  
"Malfoy" called The Dark Lord.  
  
Malfoy approached Black, wand raised and said quietly "CRUCIO", Blacks screams filled the night sky, and Snape watched in horror at the look of delight in his friend's eyes, "God, he's really enjoying that," thought Snape "what's happening to us, we've become monsters!"  
  
Without a word the Dark Lord nodded and Malfoy raised his wand again and said "AVADA KADAVRA", suddenly the screams stopped.  
  
Snape shuddered in his sleep, sweat glowing on his skin; he knew what memory would come next.  
  
"Malfoy, you will take Goyle, teach him how it should be done, First take the traitor's body back to his family home, remind them of our cause, thank them for their sacrifice. I shall expect this accomplished before the next meeting." With that finished the Dark Lord turned his attention to Snape. Fear rumbled in Severus's stomach, yet he approached at the signal and bowed deeply before his master.  
  
"The journalist, Weasley, another traitor, she must pay for the evil words she has written about us. You know her" this was not a question, almost as an after thought The Dark Lord muttered "CRUCIO," pain like he had never known shattered Severus's composure, he writhed in the dirt just as Regulus had done, though blood trickled down his chin as he bit his lip to stop any sound escaping. "See that my wishes are fulfilled." The master commanded.  
  
The meeting was over, sweat dripped into Severus's eye's, he knew who the Dark Lord was referring to. Regina Weasley, Severus had dated her shortly after he had left school, she was suitable for a Snape, and his father would have approved, a pure blood like them from an old family.  
  
But Snape had called an end to it when it became apparent that she and her family sympathized with Dumbledore, they opposed the Dark Lord. Dumbledore was already predicting doom and gloom about their leader and his ambitions. Regina's older brother loved muggles and worked to protect them, Snape had found it amusing but Lucius had pointed out to him the dangers of being associated with such a family. Now it seemed Lucius had been right, Severus was to kill someone he had once been very close to.  
  
The Dark Lord chose his Murderers with the same care as he selected his victims, each of the death-eaters were being tested, would they save a loved one and disobey their master, or would they obey his commands regardless of the personal costs.  
  
Snape apparated back to his home still shaking he showered and changed his clothes, wondering how he could possibly resolve his problem. He stared down at his double bed, several months before he had shared it with a beautiful red-head. Severus recalled her tears the night he had told her it was over, each of those tears had felt like a drop of acid on his skin. He still missed her, she was the first person to make him feel loved, the only one who gave everything to him freely and now he was asked to kill her, life was not fair! 


	3. Snape Humbled

Disclaimer; I don't own any of this, it all belongs to J.K. thanks for reading it, I hope you enjoy it, and maybe you can give it a review?? Please!  
  
Chapter three Snape humbled  
  
Snape woke up the next morning his body aching as it always did when he dreamed of that night. He plodded through the days lesson's in a very sour mood, shouting at a few students on his way back to his quarters in the cold dungeons lightened his mood slightly, at dinner Dumbledore had smiled at him knowingly, "damn that all knowing attitude of his, you'd think he saw all that went on in this bloody prison he calls a school!" snarled Snape at the mirror in his bathroom, the mirror refrained from answering perhaps feeling that it could be dangerous.  
  
Severus grabbed another bottle of Fire-water and drowned his sorrows, "Gods! I'm becoming an alcoholic." His father's voice echoed somewhere in the back of his mind "any man who allows himself to become dependant on anything is a weak fool."  
  
This didn't help Severus to feel any better, although he had long since given up trying to please his dead father. As usual the ritual drinking gave way to unconsciousness and eventually the painful memories that Severus was able to hold in check the rest of the time.  
  
He found himself standing in Hogsmead, his hair still damp from the shower and his body still aching from the evenings test at the hand of The Dark Lord. Snape had come to the only wizard he could think of to help him save his ex-lover and unknowingly help him to get revenge on Lucius, for it had surely been Lucius who had informed the master of the connection between Snape and Regina Weasley.  
  
Albus Dumbledore stood watching as Severus approached him in the darkness, Severus could not remember ever seeing him look anything but jovial before now, however as Severus neared him he said in a quiet voice "considering your new friends Severus I do not think it a very wise move to arrange this meeting with me, you must know my opinion of Voldemort and all who are allied with him."  
  
"You could kill me now I suppose but are you not curious to know why I wished to meet you?" replied Severus coldly. "I need your help to save some people."  
  
"I have no wish to kill anyone Severus, but surely if you require help then your fellow death-eaters would be a wiser choice?" countered Dumbledore.  
  
"It is the death-eaters I wish to save these people from" Snape answered, afraid to think what would happen to Regina if Dumbledore refused. "I will beg you, if that's what it takes."  
  
"I do not wish you to beg, I would like to know however why you wish to betray your master?"  
  
"One of the women he wishes me to kill was close to me, the other is innocent and she has a family." Severus answered quietly.  
  
"What are you asking me to do?"  
  
"Soon two death eaters will arrive to kill Andromeda Black Tonks along with her muggle husband and child, one has already failed at this task, and I am hoping that The Dark Lord will believe her cousin Regulus warned her before his death. The other is a reporter called Regina Weasley, The Dark Lord feels her stories have not cast him in a good light, he wishes her silenced. I.I.I am supposed to kill her as soon as possible, however if I fail or refuse I will be killed and another sent in my place. I don't wish her to die." Severus trembled at his last words as images of Regina's dead body swam before his eyes.  
  
"Apart from saving these lives and yours what would I gain from agreeing to this?" asked Dumbledore.  
  
"I could serve you, I will act as a spy for you, warn you of The Dark Lords plans" offered Severus.  
  
"If he finds out, which is highly likely, he will kill you. You know this." Dumbledore said in a quiet voice. "However now is not the time to ponder this I think, I must act immediately, I will try to arrange it all without leaving any signs that point to you, for the moment, however if you have truly denounced him then maybe you can make amends by helping to remove him from power, before it is too late" with these few words Dumbledore disappeared with a swish of his cloak, leaving Severus alone wondering if he had done the right thing for once in his sorry life.  
  
Severus indulged in a brief smile as he thought of what The Dark Lord would do to Lucius when he failed to kill his wife's cousin. At least Severus wouldn't be the only one to face his wrath next time. With that thought he disapperated back to his home to try to sleep. Hoping that Dumbledore could warn Regina before Severus went to find her the next day.  
  
Severus grunted in his drunken sleep as his mind raced on to another memory.  
  
Severus read the Daily Prophet the morning after his meeting with Dumbledore, the headlines read  
  
A TRAGIC LOSS FOR THE PROPHET  
  
In the early hours of the morning Ministry officials were  
called to home of REGINA WEASLEY. They arrived to  
find the house on fire and the charred remains of a woman  
identifiable, only by the jewellery she had been wearing.  
The dark mark could be seen floating above the house  
confirming suspicions that Miss Weasley was killed  
for speaking out against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.  
  
Severus had sighed in relief, Dumbledore must have arranged it. Regina was safe somewhere, in hiding. He was now caught between the two greatest wizards alive and he had chosen sides, he could not go back now, no matter what the risks. And so it had all began Severus had lived a double life from that moment on. Never fitting in with either side, the self recrimination and fear he now lived with, a daily battle. Severus battled with two sides of his personality, the side that respected The Dark Lords power and the side that despised it. 


	4. Snape's Rage

Disclaimer; I don't own any of this, it all belongs to J.K. thanks for reading it, I hope you enjoy it, and maybe you can give it a review?? Please!  
  
Thanks for the reviews guy's it leaves you with a "warm fuzzy feeling" to know people have read something I wrote and enjoyed it, cheers!!!  
  
A/N due to a small timeline error (Dumbledore was already gone when Harry looks into the pensive) I have moved the time on to the end of term when Dumbledore returns, thanks.  
  
Chapter four Snape's rage  
  
After the incident at the ministry, where once again Potter had caused havoc, and once again he had escaped seemingly blameless, Severus came across several students in the entrance hall, sensing trouble Severus hurried up the last few steps. To find Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle surrounding Potter, who had his wand aimed at Malfoy.  
  
Looking in Potters eyes Severus saw hatred reflected there, "bloody typical, I run around like an idiot alerting the order of Potter's disappearance, saving his life once again and does he thank me? No the self- righteous little toad blames me for the loss of his good-for-nothing Godfather!" thought Severus, aloud he asked for an explanation, Potter with more than his usual arrogance was in the process of answering when Professor McGonagall appeared in the entrance hall.  
  
Severus registered a small feeling of relief as he noted her release from St. Mungo's, glad to see her recovered from that idiot woman Umbridge's attack. However his relief didn't last long as she undermined his reproach of Potter and rewarded him instead! "And people say I favor my own students, she's just rewarded Potter for breaking most of the school rules and threatening other students!" thought Severus.  
  
As the students scurried away on Professor McGonagall's instructions Severus fumed silently. Over the next few days several students from Slytherin manufactured excuses to speak to him privately. Many of their parents' death-eaters. They were looking for assurances that their parents were safe.  
  
The irony of this was not lost on Severus, these children were coming to him, a spy for Dumbledore, the very man who was trying to destroy their parents, and he would mutter platitude's to them, "everything will work out", "your parents' are well aware of the dangers," yet as he looked into their eye's the feeling of guilt intensified.  
  
These children were innocent; they no more deserved to lose their parents than Potter had deserved to lose his! How many of them, through misguided loyalty or parental pressure would be dragged into the coming war? Severus knew the weight of parental pressure, he himself had spent a great deal of his life trying to prove himself to his father, even now that his father had gone, he still found himself hearing that voice questioning his choices.  
  
Severus sat through the evening meals, detached from the students' antics, aware of Dumbledore's presence, a constant reminder of his life's choices. After one such evening, before Severus could escape to his quarters and his Fire-whiskey, Dumbledore caught him and ushered him towards his office, where they could speak privately.  
  
"This cannot continue Severus" said the headmaster quietly. Severus feigning ignorance answered "Headmaster?"  
  
"You did not cause the death of Sirius Black anymore than you caused the deaths of Lily and James Potter, in fact your actions saved Harry and the rest of the student who went to the ministry" was the reply.  
  
"I know. Black's arrogance caused his own death, as his fear caused the Potter's" spat Severus. "You know that is not true" replied Dumbledore patently.  
  
"Damn it, I am not a student anymore, please do not tell me what I think" raged Severus.  
  
"I am well aware of your position; I apologize if I offended you. Guilt is a heavy burden Severus, you should not carry other peoples as well as your own, otherwise you will stumble and fall" the headmaster answered, not sounding the least bit sorry.  
  
Severus looked away as he said quietly, "I know the fault lies ultimately with The Dark Lord, however I was once one of his loyal followers, I still bow to his commands, I still watch helplessly as he plans murder and mayhem, and I am impotent to stop him. How many times have I knelt before him wishing for the strength to utter the curse that would kill him, yet after all he has done, I can't find the courage!"  
  
"You know it is not that simple, Severus. You are not the one destined for that. Yet you risk your life constantly to save others, there are precious few wizards who have the courage to face Voldemort, you and Harry have a lot more in common than you wish to admit. You could understand him better than anyone else!" replied Dumbledore.  
  
Severus felt the rage build inside him "I suppose it is my fault that stubborn child did not learn Occlumency"  
  
"No, I believe that to be my fault" replied Dumbledore. "Though I would point out that he is not James, therefore does not have to be your enemy. Surely in the face of a real enemy we could forgive and forget school room differences?"  
  
"SCHOOL ROOM DIFFERENCES! They tried to kill me! How does one forget that?" yelled Severus.  
  
"Harry has never tried to kill you Severus. James and Sirius are both dead. Harry is no more responsible for his parent's action than you are for yours!" Dumbledore reasoned.  
  
Severus knew it was pointless to try and argue with the headmaster so he waited in silence hoping to be dismissed.  
  
"I know you do not accept praise for your actions Severus however your bravery is recognized and appreciated by many. I would ask you to ponder that the next time you feel the urge to punish yourself with too much Fire- whiskey" Dumbledore smiled at him and added "I can see you wish to go, please just think on what I have said, you have more than paid for the choices you made as a young man!"  
  
And so Severus was dismissed, he made his way back to the privacy of his dungeon, though perhaps privacy was the wrong word, Dumbledore seemed capable of seeing through the walls of the whole castle! 


	5. Snape's beliefs

Disclaimer; I don't own any of this, it all belongs to J.K. thanks for reading it, I hope you enjoy it, and maybe you can give it a review??  
  
Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed it.  
  
Chapter five Snape's belief.  
  
Severus stalked around his room; filled with nervous energy, what right did Dumbledore have to walk around in his mind, to analyze him, to criticize him! "None! I am my own man! I am free to make my own decisions" but even as he said it Severus recognized that it was a long time since he had been completely free to decide anything. He had been influenced by others most of his life, first by his father and tutor later by The Dark Lord and Dumbledore and now mostly by his own guilty conscience!  
  
How could Dumbledore make comparisons between him and the sainted Harry Potter! Severus suddenly recalled the memory of a terrified Harry hiding in a cupboard from his domineering Uncle, then Harry fleeing up a tree to escape a vicious dog, yes maybe their childhoods did have certain similarities but their reactions had been wildly different.  
  
Severus had studied hard trying to excel at all his subjects to win his fathers approval and when that had failed he had joined the death-eaters, believing that his father would want him to support The Dark Lords ideals.  
  
Harry became disobedient and disrespectful, believing himself persecuted unfairly. He had developed a hero complex believing it his duty to save all those around him! Perhaps given the prophesy made before his birth, this was natural, Severus shuddered to think what that child would be like now that he was aware of the prophesy!  
  
Potter had already shown some awareness of it when he had boldly confronted Malfoy in the entrance hall earlier, showing no regard to the fact that he was breaking school rules in plain sight of everyone. Severus sighed heavily, he disapproved of rule breaking, rules were made for a reason!  
  
Severus pulled out the bottle of whiskey and sat down grunting quietly "I don't care if you can see me Dumbledore"  
  
Ginny Weasley had been injured along with Potter at the ministry; in fact several of the students had been lucky to survive. He had seen them in the hospital wing earlier that day. Yet none of their injuries had affected Severus as much as Ginny's superficial one, not that he cared about the child. But she bore a striking resemblance to her long gone Aunt.  
  
Regina, all of this madness had begun with Regina. A woman he had not seen in nearly eighteen years, a woman who Ginny probably had no idea existed. No one knew, only Dumbledore and Arthur Weasley knew what Severus had done.  
  
What type of man would he be now if not for her? Would he have stayed loyal to The Dark Lord? Given his disgust with their measures he was not sure. And that was perhaps the most frightening admission of all. Had he not loved Regina, he may have actually become as blood thirsty as his former friends, making excuses for his actions, reasoning that their victims deserved to die, they were after all Mud-bloods and traitors.  
  
But Severus could no longer hide behind his childhood conditioning. He was a grown man, able to use his own life experience to form his opinions, had he not seen just as many remarkable muggle born students pass through Hogwarts as pure bloods. True some of them were barely able to perform the most rudimentary spells. An image of the Creevy brothers formed in his mind, yet closely followed by that was the image of Hermione Granger, a cleverer which he had yet to meet. She had saved Neville Longbottom, a pure blood, from blowing them all to kingdom come on many occasions, though he suspected that Neville's forgetfulness was the result of memory charms cast on him as a child, after he had been witness to the atrocities committed on his parents.  
  
These thoughts took him full circle, back to Potter, a half-blood who would one day save them all. Severus recalled the last time he saw Potter's parents alive. They had been with the Longbottom's.  
  
One evening the death-eaters kidnapped several wizards from the ministry, they were to be questioned, then given 24 hours to decide which side they wanted to support, if they chose Voldemort, they were initiated without further torture, if they declined they were killed.  
  
Severus had witnessed several of these meetings, yet he noticed that the death-eaters were becoming increasingly blood thirsty and cruel; during the 24 hour wait he was able to contact Dumbledore. The next night as the ministry wizards stood surrounded by hundreds of death-eaters, awaiting their fate, the air filled with shouts and cry's as Dumbledore's supporters along with Aurors from the ministry broke through the ranks of the death- eater casting spells and charms to rescue their colleagues.  
  
The difference between the two groups was the Aurors reluctance to use killing curses. Severus could see they were seriously outnumbered yet they managed to reach the center of the circle surrounding the prisoners.  
  
Severus had pushed his way through the crowd, his target, James Potter, Severus could deflect suspicion by appearing eager to fight and at the same time exact some measure of revenge for the 7 years of torment at this mans hand. As long as he did no permanent damage, Dumbledore would not question his decision.  
  
Realizing that they were seriously outnumbered, the Aurors had grabbed the hostages and several death-eaters, and disappeared. The death-eaters were confused no-one could apperate or disapperate from the chambers of the Dark Lord, he had set protective charms to insure it, they had to apperate outside the building then enter of foot. Yet just as Severus reached James, James had shouted, "NOW LILY", Lily had grabbed the nearest death-eater with one hand and held out a feather in her other hand which James had grabbed and in a flash they had disappeared.  
  
The Dark Lord had been incensed, "DUMBLEDORE!" he roared, the remaining death-eaters had stumbled into their usual circle, several gaps were apparent, those who had been taken by the Auror's, and on the ground several Auror's and Order members lay dead or dying.  
  
"How is it possible that they know where to find us?" hissed the Dark Lord, "there is a traitor among you, he will be found and dealt with!" There was a buzz of denials which he ignored as he signaled for a small group of them to follow him. Severus stood amongst the hierarchy and waited, grateful to his childhood tutor for teaching him occlumency at such a young age, without which his fear of discovery would have deafened The Dark Lord.  
  
"We must act quickly, even though they captured only a few of our number, they will even now be celebrating this as a victory, hope is a powerful weapon, we can not allow them to wield" said The Dark Lord quietly, "find me The Potter's, they have three times thwarted me and I will not stand for a fourth. It is too close to that prophesy for my comfort"  
  
Severus had no idea what prophesy he referred to, yet there was something vulnerable about the master's voice, something that had never before been apparent. "Severus you attended school with them, perhaps you should lead the search." Severus nodded his compliance and left, ostensibly to begin his search; in reality he went to warn Dumbledore, he would risk his life to save his enemy. 


	6. the here and now

Disclaimer, HP's not mine though I wish it was. Thanks to every one who has read and reviewed it, much appreciated!!  
  
Chapter six. The here and now  
  
The students had finally departed for the summer and the castle heaved a sigh of relief. The teachers were gathered for their last official meal of the term before those who actually had a life outside Hogwarts would go to their well earned rest.  
  
Severus was not actually one of them; he lived in the castle all year, students or no students. Dumbledore was presiding over the meal as usual, which was held in an anti-chamber of the great hall. "We must be thankful to have survived this year, more or less intact, it has been difficult for all of us. I hope next year will not be quiet so stressful, however with the open acceptance of Voldemort's return, I have a feeling that things can only get worse, however that should not stop us from enjoying our meal, so please." Dumbledore indicated to the food laden plates.  
  
There was a general chatter as the teachers ate, pleasantly quiet without the students, halfway through the meal Severus felt a familiar burning in his arm, he rose so swiftly from the table he caused Professor Flitwick to tumble from his place. "I must take my leave, I apologize" and with a swish of his black robes he left the room closing the door behind him, he broke into a run, summoning his death-eater robes from his chambers on his way out of the castle. The robes caught up with him at the gates were he ran beyond the castle limits before apperating to the meeting, wondering what new crisis had emerged.  
  
"What took you so long?" hissed Voldemort, "I do not appreciate being kept waiting"  
  
"My apologies Lord, but I had to leave the boundaries of the castle to reach here" answered Severus in a quiet voice.  
  
"Were you able to find out the boy's location?"  
  
"No Lord, Dumbledore alone knows where he spends his holiday" replied Severus.  
  
"You too have failed me" Severus fought to remain standing as the Cruciatus curse ripped through his body, he was vaguely aware of the ever present form of Pettigrew, wringing his hands in delight as he watched. Severus concentrated on him staring malevolently, eventually Pettigrew turned away, and Severus felt that small insignificant victory.  
  
The pain subsided and Voldemort spoke again,"Dumbledore, he always manages to protect the boy, I had thought that you would be a useful spy for us at Hogwarts, was I mistaken?" Voldemort raised his voice a fraction.  
  
"My Lord is wiser than I in these matters" Severus returned with just the right amount of arrogance. It had the hoped for effect The Dark Lord's rasping laugh echoed around them, making Pettigrew squirm slightly, "I like your spirit! Does Dumbledore suspect that you are reporting to me?"  
  
"He is suspicious of me, but will not act without proof; his greatest weakness is giving those around him a second chance!" Severus smiled sinisterly. He knew the Dark Lord was testing him again, hoping for some idea of his true feelings, Severus allowed his resentment of Dumbledore's continuing interference in his affairs stray to the forefront of his thoughts, better to mislead The Dark Lord than to block him out completely arousing his suspicions.  
  
"You did well softening the boy's mind for me, did you use a potion?" asked Voldemort. "Yes Lord," Severus lied, "it was effective?"  
  
"It was, however the fools I sent to the ministry were not, many of them are in Azkaban, I will leave them there for a while, let them ponder their failure before allowing them to return." Replied Voldemort.  
  
"Dumbledore has arranged wizards to guard the prison after the last breakout" Severus told him.  
  
"I am aware of this" hissed Voldemort, "he knows the dementors are no longer loyal to the ministry, it only makes our task simpler."  
  
Severus walked a dangerous line, Voldemort had to believe he was giving him all the information he could, yet he could not reveal any of the secrets that would put the order in danger.  
  
"I have contacted the Goblins, they will be useful allies, and they can control the trolls easily, in the mean time return to Hogwarts and find me access to the boy! Some of his little friends must know where he spends the summer" Severus knew he was dismissed but as he turned to leave he heard Voldemort whisper "Wormtail?"  
  
The curse hit Severus in the back; a surprisingly warm feeling tingled down his spine, he realized it was the warmth of his own blood running freely from the large chunk of flesh Pettigrew's curse had ripped from his back. Severus turned and pointed his wand at Pettigrew waiting, Pettigrew stepped back a pace, fear apparent on his face, and said, "no-one turns his back on The Dark Lord"  
  
Severus looked at The Dark Lord with his eyebrow raised in question, Voldemort smiled benevolently and said "you may go."  
  
Retreating backwards, keeping one eye on the Rat, Severus left the room, he closed the door and leant against it for support, he had lost too much blood and would soon have no energy left to apperate, but still he pressed his ear on the door and waited.  
  
He did not wait long however, Pettigrew's indistinct, cowardly mutter could be discerned and in answer Voldemorts hissed "find me information on squibs, Dumbledore cannot put wizards near the Boy as we could track them, he must be using someone else to pass him information, the birth records are at the ministry, start there and follow the family lines, try the oldest families first, they have more squibs born than any other. Well why are you still here? Go now"  
  
Severus hurried back from the door and disapperated, he fell on his hands and knee's just beyond Hogwarts gates, it seemed like a much greater distance now, than when he had run down the hill less than an hour ago! Raising his wand, he was amazed at the effort required to send the bright silver light towards Dumbledore just as he passed out in the dirt.  
  
Dumbledore was just rising from the dinner table when a light burst in front of him and Severus' voice could be heard "A little assistance at the front gates if you please" Dumbledore ran uncharacteristically out the front door and down to the gates. 


	7. the cost

DISCLAIMER; I wish I owned it but I don't! Thanks for the reviews, glad your enjoying it, hope you enjoy the next bit, it could all go a bit pear shaped now, I don't want to predict what JK will do in the next books, but I wanted to finish the story. Also I'll try to remember my punctuation, thanks for pointing it out, I tend to get carried away writing and forget the grammar! Sorry.  
  
Chapter seven Snape Torture  
  
Severus awoke in the hospital wing, tightly bandaged and with little memory of how he had arrived. He had a vague recollection of seeing the normal dignified Head master racing toward him with his purple robes and white hair flying in all directions, it had made a remarkable sight and Severus smiled at little at the memory.  
  
"Ah! I think he is waking up Poppy" rumbled the old wizard's voice in the distance.  
  
"Now what can you possibly have to smile about Severus Snape?" asked the formidable matron in a tight voice.  
  
Severus recalled himself and frowned slightly at the bright sunshine as he opened his eyes. Ignoring the healer he spoke to Dumbledore directly, "we must talk now, in private" he tried to push himself up in the bed. 'I'm sure Madam Pomfrey makes her bandages this tight to prevent escape,' he thought to himself.  
  
"You'll drink this blood replenishing potion now and you will stay exactly where you are young man, another few moments and even I would not have been able to save you!" snorted Madam Pomfrey. Then she cast her steely glance at Dumbledore and said "5 minutes, no more" with that she turned back to her office muttering "next time they'll go to far, animals, he can't take much more of this"  
  
"She is right Severus, your body cannot take much more of these punishments, this time we saved you by a hairs breath, next time we may not be so lucky," he raised a hand to forestall any arguments Severus was about to make, "if your are dead then we would not know the information anyway, I feel that it is becoming to dangerous."  
  
"We all take risks, I am aware of the inevitable outcome of my choices, but they have been my choices, no-one forces me to go back, I know the cost." Replied Severus quietly.  
  
Dumbledore sighed, knowing now was not the time to argue with the head- strong man, and asked, "What do you have to tell me?"  
  
"Voldemort has Wormtail tracking squibs through the ministry birth records, you must warn Arabella Figg, she will be exposed, especially since she testified at Potters trial last year, when they find her they will find him!" Severus suddenly realised it was day light "how long was I unconscious for this time?"  
  
"Two days, much to Poppy's displeasure" said Dumbledore quietly.  
  
"Then you must warn them now, Wormtail has had two days head start, with luck you may still catch him at the ministry." Severus urged.  
  
Dumbledore stood up and nodded but as he was leaving he turned to add "Please Severus follow Poppy's instructions, stay and let your body heel for once," and with that he left.  
  
Severus relaxed into the pillow trying to force his brain to quieten enough to allow him to sleep. He was exhausted and it was becoming increasingly difficult to recover as quickly as he used to. None of his recent injuries had surpassed the first meeting after The Dark Lords resurrection however, Severus paled at the memory, and Madam Pomfrey had been beside herself in rage when Hagrid had carried him to the hospital wing.  
  
Barely breathing with every bone in his body broken and several missing completely, many of his major organs had been reduced or increased in size, leaving his heart unable to pump blood properly. Though these were surface wounds compared to the mental torture he had sustained from Lord Volemort himself, the Dark Lord wanted an explanation as to why Severus was now working for Dumbledore. How he could have escaped Askaban when so many other had not. To add to these supposed sins, Severus had aided Potter in his defence of the philosopher's stone.  
  
Severus had claimed he was caught by Dumbledore and as he opposed the use of dementors had opted for indentured service, forcing him to work at Hogwarts a virtual prisoner, only recently allowing him more freedom. Severus also claimed ignorance of Voldemort's presence when the idiot Quirrel had tried to steal the stone, calculating that if he could steal the stone himself, he could then search for The Dark Lord.  
  
Unbelievably the first excuse for not returning immediately had been accepted. Karkaroff had fled Hogwarts when the mark burned on his arm and Severus claimed that he had wasted time trying to find him, before returning to his Master. But the delay had allowed him to relay the fate of Barty Crouch.  
  
Voldemort had spent many night's battering at the defences in Severus' mind, eventually deciding that no-one could withstand such a long punishment without revealing everything, Voldemort declared himself satisfied that Severus was indeed telling the truth, and had allowed the death-eaters, his old friend Lucius leading the group, to sharpen their skills on him before returning him to Hogwarts.  
  
"Lucius, damn it there was something else I had to tell Dumbledore," Severus muttered to himself, "I have to remember." His mind wandered for some time, a result of the pain relief Madam Pomfrey had poured liberally down his throat, eventually he latched on to an image of young Draco Malfoy, which eventually led his tired mind to Potter, and suddenly he sat up "Weasley and Granger!" he exclaimed in a voice so loud, Madam Pomfrey rushed out of her office.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey I must speak to Dumbledore," Severus told her, while trying, unsuccessfully to get out of bed.  
  
"Now Professor, really, your are in no condition to go anywhere," seeing that her patent was no going to be put off so easily, she forced him back down on the bed and said "wait here, I'll call him immediately," she turned to the fire at the other end of the room.  
  
What seemed like an eternity later, but was in reality a few minutes Dumbledore swept out of the fire and headed for Severus, concern written on his face. "What is it, is there something wrong?" he asked without pre- amble.  
  
"Weasley and Granger, they could be in trouble, I am supposed to 'question' Potter's friends to ascertain his whereabouts. Draco will no doubt have informed his father who they are, and if Malfoy knows rest assured that The Dark Lord knows. Damn it he is setting me another loyalty test, I cannot pass it this time, I cannot endanger those children, yet if I do not bring him some proof of my attempts, he will have discovered us all" Severus blurted out, with unusual anxiety showing in his voice.  
  
Dumbledore stood silent for a few moments, Severus could almost see the wheels turning in his mind as he came up with and discarded various theories, then suddenly his facial expressions settled into their usual composure and he smiled. At any other time Severus would have enjoyed watching the old wizard, he was an amazing man, yet today he was too worried, he released the breathe he had been unaware of holding whilst he waited for Dumbledore to explain his latest brilliant solution. 


	8. the solution

DISCLAIMER; I wish I owned it but I don't! Thanks for the reviews, glad to hear from you all.  
  
Chapter eight The Solution.  
  
EXPLOSION ROCKS OTTERY ST CATCHPOLE  
  
Fears of the second-coming of evil increased today  
as The Ministry of Magic Officials tried to cover up  
an explosion which has destroyed one of their own  
workers homes. Arnold Weasley's family home was  
found in ruins this morning. The Ministry deny that  
anyone has been injured but as yet no-one has been able  
to contact any of the family members.  
Cornelius Fudge reported "it was a gas leak, they had a  
ghoul in the attic, who liked to hit the pipes a lot." Mr Fudge  
denied it to be the work of you-know-who, but that gives this  
reporter little reassurance as he denied for a year that  
you-know-who had returned.  
  
Severus stared blankly from the paper to the smiling face of Dumbledore. "Why have them deny it was Voldemort?"  
  
"Simple, they have so little credibility at the Ministry, people are bound to believe it was indeed Voldemort, the resulting gossip will reach his ears," answered Dumbledore.  
  
"It will not last, when the Weasley children arrive next term, I will be discovered in a lie!" Severus said slowly. "Unless I had already questioned him, using veritaserum, then destroyed his family's home in anger, when he could not answer me! If I had used too much, he would have no clear memory of the encounter." Dumbledore watched the brilliant young mind work out the problem and knew he was storing the false images in his mind, for Voldemort to discover later.  
  
Dumbledore added "Miss Granger always takes an extended vacation with her family during the summer; they are in Germany at the moment. Kingsley Shaklebolt volunteered to go and retrieve them."  
  
"Alright, Weasley is safe, that is the main thing I suppose, and Granger will be soon, without drawing attention to the fact that I warned her. Now what about Arabella Figg and Potter?" Severus questioned.  
  
"Alas we did not catch Peter at the ministry, though the court scripts from Harry's case last year were missing, Minerva had just arrived at Arabella's when Peter turned up," Dumbledore sighed, Severus' pulse escalated and he held his breath, as the head master continued, "she used a portkey and they both escaped unharmed, though Arabella is distraught over the loss of her cats and her home. Peter obviously furious at having failed blew up three houses in the street. Luckily the residents of the adjoining properties were at work when it happened."  
  
"Bloody RAT he so loves his dramatic exits!" snarled Severus.  
  
"I thought it wise to remove Harry from his Aunts house, it is only a matter of time until Voldemort himself goes to retrieve him, and with the small amount of Harry's blood he now carries, I fear he will be able to break the protection surrounding the family home," Dumbledore looked weary as he told Severus this.  
  
"He should be safe enough here for the moment," replied Severus. "Though I dread to think of the mischief those three will cause here during the holiday, they are bad enough during term time, with classes to occupy them."  
  
"I will leave you to rest as I must finish arranging the Dursley's emigration plans; I decided to have his firm transfer him to America, with a substantial increase in salary as motivation. It seemed the most expediential way to remove them from Voldemorts interest and from Harry's life once and for all!" Dumbledore left looking pleased with himself.  
  
Severus lay back and closed his eyes, somehow it didn't seem right that those muggles would get rewarded for abusing the trust Dumbledore had given them. Severus caught himself wondering how Potter would feel about that, and then realizing what he was doing, sympathizing with the dratted boy, he stopped.  
  
It was late evening when Severus was woken by the sound of many feet running into the hospital ward, he turned on his side to watch the procession, Lupin carrying a dark shape was being directed by Madam Pomfrey, who was closely followed by Tonk's, Moody, Dumbledore and a large assortment of red heads, who could only be the Weasley's.  
  
As Lupin laid down his burden and they all stepped back to let Madam Pomfrey closer to the bed, Severus saw a very broken and bloody Potter. The boy was unconscious and bleeding profusely. The matron was cleaning and bandaging and Molly Weasley was shooing her family back to the other side of the ward, to allow her space to work.  
  
No-one noticed Severus lying at the end of the ward, suddenly there was a scrapping noise as Lupin and Arthur pulled the screens around Potter's bed leaving Madam Pomfrey and Potter alone behind it.  
  
All the other seemed to sink down in unison on various beds and chairs. "What has he gotten himself into this time?" Severus raised his voice slightly and was rewarded by a growl from Ron and a stern look from Moody.  
  
Dumbledore however approached him before answering quietly, "death-eaters managed to locate the Dursley's house from the court transcripts. Not being able to attack Harry directly, they threw bottles of burning fuel through the windows at Harry's cousin; the protection spell did not repel them as they were not magical objects. The house caught fire and Harry escaped through his bedroom window, and then returned to pull out his Aunt and Uncle, he had returned to collect his cousin when the second floor of the house collapsed on them, Tonk, Moody and Lupin arrived in time to pull them both out after duelling with the death-eaters present. The Dursley's are in a local muggle hospital."  
  
Severus had no reply to this lastest saga in the Potter drama. Arthur Weasley was approaching Severus, dragging an unhappy Ron with him. "I want to thank you Severus, it would seem that you have saved my family again, I am eternally grateful to you." He smiled then nudged Ron, who muttered "Thank you Sir," they turned and went back to the others.  
  
"Bet that was painful" said Severus sourly, forgetting that Dumbledore was close enough to hear him.  
  
"Now Severus," chided Dumbledore, "I know for a fact that Arthur meant every word."  
  
"I was referring to Weasley junior," Severus retorted.  
  
"You should get your rest now," was Dumbledore's answer.  
  
"With that lot roaming around? I wouldn't dare fall asleep, I'd probably waken to find I had green hair," snorted Severus.  
  
"At least it would be Slytherin colours" Dumbledore replied merrily, as though imagining Severus with green hair.  
  
"Will the boy be alright?" asked Severus, trying to keep his voice aloof.  
  
"Harry should be fine, Poppy is taking care of the burns now," Dumbledore said. "I think I will go and arrange meals for everyone, you can rest without fear for your hair." Dumbledore left taking the reluctant group with him. A few moments later a house elf arrived with a tray of food for Severus.  
  
Severus must have dosed off again because when he opened his eyes he saw Potter was asleep looking better than he had before and his faithful friend Ron was dosing in a chair at the side of his bed. Severus wondered what it would be like to have a friend like that, Potter, for all his faults, seemed to engender deep loyalty in others. Severus snorted 'am I jealous of the brat?' he turned to his other side and hoped Madam Pomfrey would permit him to convalesce in his own quarters tomorrow, the thought of sharing a ward with Potter was not appealing. He tried to convince himself that it was because he would be constantly disturbed by Potter's visitors coming and going all day. "Not Jealousy!" he muttered. 


	9. Snape's Visitors

DISCLAIMER; I wish I owned it but I don't! Thanks for the reviews, glad you're enjoying it, hope you enjoy the next bit.  
  
Chapter nine Snape's visitors  
  
The summer sun poured in the windows of the hospital wing. Severus had lost count of how long he had been a prisoner there. He had been enjoying the chance to relax his battered body, his mind seemed to be more rested than it had been for years, and he suspected that Madam Pomfrey had been slipping him some dreamless sleep potion along with the rest of his medication, probably on Dumbledore's suggestion.  
  
Severus actually managed to sit up in bed and pushing his hair out of his face, he became aware of others in the room with him. Granger had apparently arrived; she was sleeping in the embrace of Weasley, both in the chairs beside Potter's bed. This surprised Severus who knew that Madam Pomfrey did not usually permit bed-side vigils. Perhaps Potter was injured more severely than he had realised.  
  
Madam Pomfrey bustled in with his morning draught; she pulled the screen round him and checked under his bandages, clicking her tongue in disapproval as she did.  
  
"Well, how is it? Will I be permitted to return to my quarters?" asked Severus, half expecting a negative reply.  
  
"Another few days at least Professor, I think," replied the matron.  
  
Severus sighed, he disliked feeling inadequate. And he knew the summons would be coming soon, The Dark Lord was not a patient man, Pettigrew had failed to bring him Potter, now Severus would have to explain why he too had failed, hopefully this time the punishment would be minimal. For all his bravado, Severus knew that physically and mentally he was reaching his limit for torture.  
  
When Madam Pomfrey removed the screens again and placed a breakfast tray on his table he noted that Granger and Weasley were now awake and they had been joined by Tonks and Lupin. They were whispering to each other and Severus guessed that Tonks and Lupin were probably taking their leave on their way to their duties.  
  
Trying to ignore them he turned his attention to his breakfast. He was startled when he looked up to find Remus Lupin standing beside his bed, "How are you Severus?" he asked.  
  
"Well how do you think I am?" replied Severus sardonically. 'How can he even look me in the eye, he almost ate me at school!' thought Severus.  
  
"Uh sorry to disturb you, I just hope your feeling better. I'll leave you in peace now." Lupin turned to leave.  
  
With a sigh Severus relented, asking "how is Potter?"  
  
"Not good, he inhaled a lot of smoke in the fire and damaged his lungs, it will take some time for him to breath normally again." Lupin replied.  
  
"Well, no doubt he will recover quickly, he seems to escape most dangerous situations with the minimum of after effects" said Severus shortly.  
  
Severus could see Lupin wanted to answer, yet was holding back, not wishing to upset him, perhaps. Though why he would care, Severus didn't have a clue. Lupin started to walk away and then turned back to ask "Is that what you think, really? You think that Harry escapes unharmed from every difficulty. That he does not feel the same pains of loss and humiliation, that somehow he is protected from feeling like any other normal teenage boy? Severus I'm surprised that you of all people could think that." Lupin actually looked angry which was unusual; he normally kept his face so impassive. But he added "You're wrong, Harry lives with more guilt and remorse than almost anyone I have met, and like some other people most of the guilt is imagined, it is crippeling him! Think about that Severus before you stand in judgement!"  
  
Severus had no answer and he watched Lupin storm back up the ward, pause for a few moments at Harry's bed-side then leave the ward. He thought about Lupin's little speech, was Lupin trying to tell him not to feel guilty anymore, what a bloody cheek, Lupin was the one who should feel guilty, Lupin was the werewolf that almost ate him!  
  
Lupin could not possibly understand what ran through Severus Snape's mind! 'And as for his speech about Potter, I have never said the boy incapable of normal feeling!' but even as the thought came into Severus' mind, he recognised that more than once he had assumed that all the hurt and the dangers Potter had faced somehow 'rolled of him like water from a ducks back', Severus felt the guilt crawl in his stomach, "Christ! Another reason to feel guilty, just what I need!"  
  
Severus pushed his tray away suddenly having lost his appetite. He noticed a shadow across his bed and looked up to find Hermione Granger standing a few feet from his bed, it amused him that she stayed just out of his reach, as though afraid.  
  
"What is it?" he snapped.  
  
She flinched at his tone but still managed to say, "Thank you Professor Snape, Professor Dumbledore told me how you saved my family and I from Voldemort."  
  
"I did nothing but my job! No go away and leave me alone," Severus replied. Thinking how he liked to shout at her, it was amusing to see her flinch in time to his voice. It also had the compensation of making her a better student, he had discovered, the more you reprimanded her, the better her work became, as she tried to prove his perceived criticism's wrong. If only all his students could be so easy to deal with.  
  
He blinked and realised that she was still standing there. "Well?" he snarled. "I.uh.just wanted to say, that I hope you get better soon," she took a deep breath and rushed on "And just that if you needed something, maybe to read or something, I could go and get it for you, Sir."  
  
Severus stared at her for several moments before he replied, "no thank you Miss Granger." He even stopped himself from saying he would not allow any student into his private quarters for any reason, even if it was to get him a book. He almost laughed at the look of relief on her face when Potter suddenly coughed, waking up, giving her the excuse to run back to his bed- side.  
  
Madam Pomfrey ordered the room empty so her patients could rest. Severus lay staring at the ceiling hoping she would let them back soon, at least their endless chatter would be preferable to his musings. He was now alone with Potter, who had been awake for a long enough time to convince his visitors that he would make a full recovery, eat some lunch and then go back to sleep.  
  
Severus looked at him, recalling how he had felt when he found Potter in the pensive, Severus had momentarily found himself transferred back to that insecure 16 year old Snape, he had allowed his emotions to show, something he rarely did. Dumbledore assumed that he hated Potter, because of James Potter, maybe that's how it had started nearly 6 years ago, but in those 6 years Potter had given him ample reason to hate him personally!  
  
"Regardless of his destiny, he has always been an overconfident little toad," huffed Severus quietly. Had he known the thoughts weighing on Harry's mind at that very moment, maybe his opinion would have been slightly different, for the boy who lived had awoken to find himself still alive and most definitely felt unworthy of that privilege. 


	10. the call

Chapter ten the call  
  
Severus was jolted awake by the burning in his forearm, he glanced down with a sigh to see the ugly black skull staring back at him. "Damn it. Already?" he muttered throwing back his blanket and gingerly putting his feet on the ground, discovering that they would support his weight, he crept silently along the ward and out down the stairs. He had reached the castle doors undetected, when he whispered the spell to retrieve his robes from his chambers and once again departed to meet the Dark Lord.  
  
Severus entered the dungeon like chamber, noting the smell of fresh blood, "never a good sign," he thought.  
  
"Snape, my dark snake, you have nothing to tell me?" the Dark Lord's voice carried menacingly across the cold room.  
  
"No my Lord" replied Severus.  
  
"Why have I surrounded myself with incompetent servants?" Voldemort continued.  
  
Severus, knowing there was no answer to this question that would leave him unpunished stayed silent and bowed before his master.  
  
"Wise man! You display your respect for your master, yet you are never humble, would you like me to humble you?" Voldemort asked.  
  
"I am your servant Lord," Severus relied tonelessly.  
  
"Yes a little humility would do you good I think" laughed Voldemort, as he cast the cruciatus curse on Severus."  
  
Severus gasped and then screamed at the top of his voice, unable to contain it for once, suddenly the pain was gone and he was lying on the ground, someone pulled him roughly on to his knee's leaving him to stare up at the Dark Lord's eyes.  
  
"What is your solution to this problem? How will you find Potter for me? My patience grows short." Voldemort hissed. "One small boy, and yet even my best servants can not find him! We cannot afford to wait until he returns to school; I want him dead before the assault on the school begins"  
  
"How much time do we have Lord?" gasped Severus through his pain, in his minds eye he had his hands round Potters throat, and he was squeezing hard.  
  
"Not long now, dark snake, I can feel your desire to kill him, but I believe I have earned that privilege, don't you?"  
  
As Severus looked up he saw his masters eyes change from bright red to green, he blinked and looked again but the eyes were red as always and Severus thought he had imagined it.  
  
"If we cannot find him then you will take him from school on September 1st, I don't care how you manage it, but he must be gone before Halloween, for the rest of my plan to work!" Voldemort waved his hand at whoever was behind Severus, he felt himself lifted from under the arms and taken from the chamber.  
  
Severus' mind was struggling to process the new information, as he limped out and apperated back to Hogwarts. To his surprise he had a welcome committee, Dumbledore, Pomfrey and Hagrid stood waiting to catch him before he could collapse, "how did you know?" he muttered.  
  
"Harry warned us," replied Dumbledore.  
  
Severus woke up once again in the hospital and groaned, "This is getting to be a habit," he complained.  
  
"You should not have gone!" exclaimed Madam Pomfrey, "I warned you that I would tell Professor Dumbledore the truth if you left before you could heal!"  
  
"What truth Poppy?" snapped Dumbledore.  
  
"That his body can no longer heal itself, even with the best medical potions in the world, his immune system has collapsed, if he was to catch the cold now, it could kill him! He has been taking restoring potions for months, hoping to ward off any infections," Madam Pomfrey was almost shrieking by the time she finished her sentence.  
  
"Severus, why did you not tell me, how could you put your life at risk that way?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
Severus laughed humourlessly "I have been risking my life ever since I came to you 18 years ago. I am merely paying the price of my youthful arrogance!"  
  
"Severus you have paid for that many times over, I forbid you to go back to him again, you are too useful to the order, I will not risk your life again," Dumbledore's voice had finality to its tone.  
  
"My usefulness ceases the day my spying does! And we both know that is the only reason many of the order tolerate my presence." Severus said bitterly.  
  
"You have little concept of your own value Severus, had Harry not connected with Voldemort tonight, you could well have died before Madam Pomfrey was able to reach you."  
  
Severus looked over to see Potter lying in bed no doubt pretending to be asleep. He spoke in an almost whisper to Dumbledore "did he tell you the plan? The Dark Lord will attack Hogwarts before Halloween, he will kidnap Potter in broad daylight if necessary, you have enough to worry about, without adding me to the list, I will survive because I am too stubborn to die, and now if you please I think I will sleep!" that said Severus closed his eyes, blocking out the sympathetic gaze from Dumbledore. 


	11. Snape's Future

Disclaimer, I do not own hp or the world he lives in, more's the pity!  
  
Thank you for reading this far and all the reviews you've sent. Sorry if there are a few more errors than normal but I'm rushing a bit to finish before I go on holiday.  
  
Chapter eleven Snape's future  
  
Severus slept fitfully, a result of his mind trying to throw of the effects of too much dreamless sleep potion. Two days had passed since he returned to the hospital wing; Madam Pomfrey had threatened to chain him to his bed if he moved further than the toilet.  
  
Deciding not to test her on this theory he stayed put. Unfortunately she had placed Potter in the bed next to his during his absence. Potter kept glaring at him when he thought Severus could not see him. Severus was trying his best not to notice but it was beginning to grate on his nerves, until late in the afternoon he snapped. "What do you want Potter? Would you just say it already and stop staring at me. You are getting on my nerves!"  
  
"Nothing, I just want to know, well how can you stand it?" asked Harry.  
  
"Stand what?" Severus asked.  
  
"Voldemort, calling him my Lord, allowing him to torture you like that, and never fighting back" Harry continued.  
  
Severus felt a deep rage in his stomach as he snarled, "I would not have survived very long as a spy had I attacked him, now would I?"  
  
"Why do you do it?" asked Harry.  
  
"That is none of your concern, boy" snarled Severus.  
  
"Why did Voldemort sense that you wanted to kill me?" Harry demanded.  
  
"Because most of the time I relish the idea! It is simpler to allow him access to certain feelings whilst withholding others," explained Severus, "if you had tried a little harder at occulmency, you might actually know that!"  
  
"You're the one who refused to teach me!" replied Harry indignantly.  
  
"You stupid little boy, do you think that we are all your servants? That you may invade our private lives and suffer no consequences, not all of us are as forgiving as the headmaster! Now shut up and rest!" Severus ranted. Turning his back to Potter and closing his eyes.  
  
'Obnoxious spoiled little brat! How dare he question me! I am his teacher he should speak to me with respect!' Severus thought, 'he makes me so angry, he makes me shout, I hate to shout, it is undignified!'  
  
Dumbledore appeared a little later and sat between the two beds, shaking his head as he looked from one stubbornly set jaw to the other. "I see you are keeping each other company," he said, "I had hoped that maybe you could use this time to better understand each other. Perhaps even figure a way to talk to each other without growling."  
  
He shrugged his shoulders at continued, "Well anyway, we have to devise a plan to stop an all out assault on Hogwarts! Even if we win such an assault, I fear that the students would be so traumatised that the schools future would be jeopardized."  
  
"Headmaster, I think this is perhaps a discussion for the Order, not appropriate for a mere school boy," answered Severus.  
  
"Come now Severus, we all know the part Harry will play in our final encounter; he has proven himself mature enough to understand what is to come. He has also proven to be quite a good strategist," countered Dumbledore.  
  
"Fine, lets hear what he has to say," Severus sneered.  
  
"I think that we are going to have to confront him directly, I also know I am not ready for that yet, I saw what he was capable of duelling with you, Professor. I need to learn more defensive spells and the unforgivable curses if you want me to kill him!" Harry said sadly, "So Snape's right I can't be much help to you."  
  
While Severus was annoyed that Potter refused to at least give him his title, he was happy that for once the boy had the sense to know when he was incapable of something.  
  
Dumbledore however seemed to disagree, "Harry, firstly it would be my wish that you never have to learn the unforgivable curses. And secondly I would remind you that you have already bested Voldemort in an outright duel."  
  
"Professor we both know if my wand hadn't done that Prior incantatem thing, I would have died that night, much to Snape's pleasure no doubt," Harry replied bitterly, "and how do we know what will happen if I try to use my wand against him again?"  
  
"Harry, Professor Snape has no wish to see you dead," the headmaster reproved gently.  
  
Severus met Harry's eye and said nothing, but he could see that Harry had matured a lot since the loss of his Godfather; he would have never dared address Dumbledore in such a tone before, and to criticize Severus to his face was also a new development.  
  
"And as for your wands connection, it may once again come in useful," Dumbledore continued.  
  
"Severus I have been researching various potions that could strip Voldemore of his powers temporally. Up until now we have lacked the base ingredient for it." Said Dumbledore.  
  
"Which one? Pondor da matanca or Alimentazione forca," Severus replied.  
  
"Alimentazione forca, I think would be the best," Dumbledore said quietly.  
  
"Why couldn't you get the base ingredient before?" asked Harry curiously, "surely if you could take away his powers that could have ended the war the last time."  
  
"The base ingredient to such a potion is blood, the intended victim's blood, and as The Dark Lord has no living relatives the only way to get it would have been to capture him," Severus replied.  
  
"I wish you wouldn't call him that, he is not my Lord nor anyone else's for that matter!" Harry snapped.  
  
Dumbledore raised his hand to signal that they were getting of track and added "when he took your blood Harry, he mixed it with his own, if my calculations are correct, then enough of your blood in the potion will be enough to strip him, at least temporarily, of his powers."  
  
"My blood could kill him?" whispered Harry. "I suppose it stands to reason, my blood helped to raise him."  
  
"Precisely," Dumbledore smiled at him.  
  
"Then what are we waiting for?" asked Harry, pulling back the covers.  
  
"Wait Potter, it will take a considerable amount of your blood, which you require at the moment, it also takes over a month to brew, and I will not be able to leave it alone during that time." Severus said. "And there are many other rare and complicated ingredients that I will first have to procure." It was Severus' turn to try and rise from his bed.  
  
"Both of you remain where you are or you'll have Poppy in here shouting at me!" smiled Dumbledore. "Severus I will bring you the books you need to study and then you may list all the necessary ingredients which I will procure. Harry you must recover fully so that you are strong enough to donate the necessary amount of blood. Also lastly I want you to tell no-one of this plan; you, Harry must not come into contact with the potion at any time, the results could prove devastating to us all."  
  
Dumbledore rose to leave before adding quietly, "please try not to hurt each other further, I have great respect for both of you and would like to see you build some kind of respectful relationship!"  
  
Severus looked impassively at the headmaster and was tempted, for the first time since he was a child, to pull the same sulky expression that Harry was wearing now. They both lay in silence for a while before Harry piped up, "I am truly sorry for looking into the pensieve Sir, I had no right, and if I could take it back I would."  
  
Severus almost swallowed his tongue in surprise. Having never expected an apology from the boy he was at a loss for something to say in return. He could not tell the boy it did not matter, because it did, and he could not make him forget what he had seen, well actually he could, but for the first time he was aware of the fact that it might have been painful for Potter to see just how his father had once treated other people. So Severus said nothing at all. 


	12. Snape's Potion

Disclaimer, I do not own hp or the world he lives in.  
  
Chapter twelve Snape's Potion  
  
Ron and Hermione had joined Harry again; their whispering was getting on Severus' nerves. He could catch the odd sentence here and there; Ron wanted to know if Harry was being punished by having to stay so close to HIM! Hermione as always had brought books for Harry to study if he got bored.  
  
Severus almost laughed at the thought of them trying to keep their conversation private from him, 'as if I'd be interested in whatever rubbish they talk about!' Severus thought to himself, 'I have much more important things on my mind!' Still it was very boring lying there and Severus found himself listening anyway.  
  
Their conversation was not quite as dull as he would have suspected however, they were talking about jinxes and counter curses, with a surprising understanding of them. Had Severus not disliked them so much he would have been impressed and perhaps even contributed to their discussion, with a few suggestions of his own, realising where his train of thought was taking him, he grabbed a book Dumbledore had left and started to read.  
  
It was nearly dinner time when Dumbledore returned this time accompanied by Molly and Arthur Weasley, the twins, Ginny, Moody, Lupin and two people who were quite obviously muggles, before Severus could get his mind around the fact that Dumbledore had allowed Muggles to visit, Dumbledore announced that they would all be eating in the hospital wing tonight, to keep the patients company. Harry smiled at this revelation and Severus groaned. Introductions were made, the muggles were Mr & Mrs Granger, Hermione's parents, and they were also staying in Gryffindor tower but had agreed not to explore the castle without permission.  
  
Tables and chair were transfigured, the food was served and everyone sat down to eat, chatting merrily with one another. Arthur Weasley was in seventh heaven, having real live muggles to question about the most outrageous inventions Severus had ever heard of. When the food and the chatter had finished the visitors bid their farewells, Hermione brought her parents over to thank Severus personally and when Mrs Granger told him that her daughter talked about him a lot, he could not detect even a hint of sarcasm in her voice, though Hermione could easily have joined the Weasley family at that moment, her face became so red!  
  
Dumbledore lingered after the others had left and handed both Harry and Severus a book and some parchment each. They said thank you and bid him goodnight. Harry fell asleep shortly afterwards his glasses askew on his face and the book still in his hand. Severus gazed at him for a moment then went across to remove the glasses and book and place them on the bedside table. 'If they fall to the floor, then he will just wake up and annoy me with his chatter,' Severus excused himself.  
  
Severus then became so engrossed in the potions book, scribbling down notes and measurements, checking the procedures, that he failed to notice the time until Madam Pomfrey came in with his Potions and ordered him to sleep 'like some bloody child,' he huffed.  
  
Severus was finally released to his chambers with Madam Pomfrey's warnings still ringing in his ears. Although he resented being told what to do, he enjoyed the feeling of someone worrying about him. Potter, he assumed had been allowed to go to Gryffindor tower. For the next few days he saw the others only at dinner, which Dumbledore insisted he attend each evening. With the exception of Potters blood, he now had all the ingredients need to begin the potion. Having checked and double checked the instructions.  
  
Once again Potter was taken to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey, after her many objections were overruled by Dumbledore, took the blood from him. It was unpleasant to watch, even Severus who had no love for the boy, pitied him as he watched litre after litre pour out of his arm, Harry had either passed out or fell asleep about half way through, and Severus watched as his face paled to almost the same colour as the white linen on the beds. Even Dumbledore looked especially pale when he said quietly to Severus, "we have to pray that this works, Harry deserves a chance at a normal life."  
  
"I will begin immediately, the first step is to boil all the ingredients separately in his blood," Severus said solemnly, "have you told him about the last stage?"  
  
"No, I will begin to prepare him for that as soon as Poppy says he is fit enough" replied Dumbledore sadly.  
  
And so Severus enclosed himself in his dungeon and worked night and day on the potion only Dumbledore was permitted entry to check on the proceeding's, he also kept Severus appraised of Harry's process with his new training, for it was essential that Harry go with Severus when he take the potion to Voldemort. Perhaps Dumbledore hoped to impress Severus when he boasted of Harry's success in learning new and complicated spells. Or maybe the headmaster was simply trying to reassure himself that they had chosen the right path.  
  
For Severus it was too late to change direction now, he had ignored The Dark Lords summons three times now, and knew if they failed, that he would surely be killed along with Harry. Severus noticed a strange difference in the way he perceived Harry now, the first was the lack of anger and hatred when he thought about him; the second was that his subconscious now referred to him as Harry and not Potter. When he stood stirring the various ingredients, his mind seemed to increasing wander along the path 'What if?' something that Severus rarely indulged in, the past was done and no matter how much you may wish to change it, it was not possible.  
  
At the beginning of August, Severus announced that the potion was ready. He listened to Dumbledore outline the plan to the order members who had assembled for dinner, he did not tell them the purpose of the potion only that Harry would be allowed to go with them, most of the others at the table voice loud objections but Dumbledore simply raised his voice over the din and finished telling them their orders. Harry and Severus were the only two silent at the table, Molly was crying, as was Hermione, Ron was trying to explain that if Harry got to go then he should be allowed to go with him.  
  
It seemed unbelievable that all these people were offering to go on the suicide mission just because Harry was going. Severus admitted to himself that he admired Harry's composure through all this, never once did he beg to be left behind or refuse to go. In fact he sat staring up at the enchanted ceiling as though seeing it for the first time. It was as though Harry had accepted his fate and knew it was useless to fight against it. Severus knew how this felt, he had long since accepted that his death would come at the hands of The Dark Lord, he also accepted that it would be just payment for the lives he had helped ruin so early in The Dark Lords first rise to power.  
  
They would begin the attack the following evening, as soon as Harry was able to establish his connection to Voldemort and verify his whereabouts. Severus wondered if the others had as much trouble sleeping that night as he did, eventually just before dawn Severus felt his eyes drift closed and he managed to get a few hours sleep.  
  
Harry had been able to find out that Voldemort was at his family home, so as night closed in the order members assembled outside the Hogwarts grounds. Dumbledore stood in the center of them with Harry by his side and Fawkes on his shoulder, Severus knew that the phoenix had donated several feather to their cause, which they could use to escape if necessary, Severus held a portkey in his hand and two potions vials hidden in his robes.  
  
"If you are ready Severus, Harry, we will give you thirty minutes then join you. Please be careful, remember what I have taught you Harry. Good luck," Dumbledore's voice shook as he finished the sentence. 


	13. Snape's Comfrontation

Disclaimer, I do not own hp or the world he lives in, more's the pity!  
  
Thank you for reading this far and all the reviews you've sent. Sorry if there are a few more errors than normal but I'm rushing a bit to finish before I go on holiday.  
  
Chapter thirteen, Snape's Confrontation  
  
Severus and Harry used the portkey to arrive in the Dark Lords chamber, Harry wand was hidden in his sock. Severus knew that the next thirty minutes could mean the death of both of them, and he hoped that Harry's renewed Occlumency lessons had been more successful than the previous ones.  
  
"Lord forgive the delay but I had some trouble securing your gift," with this Severus shoved Harry forward so hard that he tumbled on to his knees.  
  
Reaching into his robes he took out a small vial of potion and held it out for Voldemort to see, "I was making this, when I was able to snatch the boy, Dumbledore thought to bring him back to school early for extra tuition!"  
  
"What is the potion?" asked Voldemort as he stood and pointed his wand at Harry.  
  
Severus answered immediately, afraid that Voldemort might strike Harry, before their plan could even begin, "It is a very old strengthening potion, it is said to increase the drinkers wandless magic ten-fold, all we need to do is add a few drops of his blood, and it will be finished."  
  
"We dismissed this potion before if I recall, it cost too much of my blood to make it," hissed Voldemort.  
  
"True Lord, but as you now share blood with him, I have used his blood in place of yours, I thought you might like to test it out on him, seemed fitting somehow," Severus answered.  
  
"How do I know I can trust you? Perhaps your recent absences could well indicate your change of heart; perhaps you have become Dumbledore's lapdog now!"  
  
"My Lord knows how to test this theory!" Severus replied. To his surprise The Dark Lord aimed at Harry and said "CRUCCIO," Harry screamed and Severus emptied his mind of the pity that he felt. Instead he imagined James lying in Harry place, and was able to bring up enough of his hatred to the forefront of his mind.  
  
Voldemort seemed satisfied as he cast another spell to bind Harry, and motioned for Severus to take the rest of the blood. Silently Severus bent over the boy took out his wand and cut a large angry slash on Harry's left arm. Harry flinched at the sight of the blood pouring down his arm. Severus avoided his eyes as he hurried to complete the first stage of the plan before the rest of the order arrived.  
  
Trusting that Voldemort would drink the potion and not try it on Harry, he completed the real potion and handed it to The Dark Lord. He hoped that Harry was now recalling, as taught, when Severus had stood over him watching the blood drain from his arm. This was Dumbledore's idea, it was the reason that he insisted Severus be present at the time, Voldemort would be able to catch the image if he was trying to access Harry's mind.  
  
Voldemort paused for a few seconds and Severus used all his knowledge of Occlumency, to hide the hope swelling in his stomach, Voldemort swallowed the potion but at the last moment seemed to realise he had been tricked. He threw the vial across the room and grabbed Severus by the arm using the mark to call the rest of his death-eaters, then he cast the Imperius spell at Severus and screamed "What have you done, you betrayed me."  
  
Severus smiled as he answered, "From almost the beginning Lord, and now your end has come." Suddenly Severus heard a voice in his head say, "KILL THE BOY! DO IT NOW, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!" Severus couldn't think of a single reason not to, he drew his wand and pointed it at the boy lying bound on the floor.  
  
"Stop, Snape Stop, fight it, he's controlling you, fight him!" yelled a distant voice but he kept advancing on his pray, the voice in his head screamed in pain and Severus stumbled, then a new voice told him "release the boy do not harm him," Severus was confused, he stopped over the boy and stared into his green eyes, the green eyes were begging him, they reminded him of someone else, Severus fell to his knee's as the voice returned, a little weaker this time, "Kill the boy, he is nothing to you, kill him quickly."  
  
Severus looked at the green eyes and saw tears there, he had made other green eyes cry like that, he remember, Regina, he had hurt Regina, he could not do it again, he leant over the boy and released his bindings. The door behind him opened and he saw several death-eaters pour in, Voldemort was now lying in his throne like chair, he screamed "Kill them both, now!"  
  
Behind the death-eaters came more shouting, and Severus still slightly dazed felt himself pushed to the ground as a spell flew past him, Malfoy was advancing on him and shouting "AVADA KE.."but his words were cut short by Severus' countercurse, Malfoy fell stiffly to the ground.  
  
Bellatrix Lestrange who had entered the chamber behind Malfoy screamed "CRUCCIO," Severus was hit full in the chest by the spell, he collapsed again as he heard Harry yelling, "PETRIFICUS TOTALIS" Bellatrix froze mid- step and joined Malfoy on the floor.  
  
Severus caught a glimpse of Harry advancing, just as Dumbledore led some of the order members into the room, Severus smiled quietly as Harry stood above him to protect him whilst he cast spells to the nearest death-eaters.  
  
Severus closed his eyes and imagined himself back in the arms of his beloved Regina, with her bright green eyes and shinning red hair. 


	14. Snape's Redemption

Disclaimer, I do not own hp or the world he lives in, more's the pity!  
  
Chapter fourteen. Snape's Redemtion.  
  
Severus floated gently in a dream; Regina was there with him, he was happy. But he could hear distant voices that didn't belong in his peaceful dream.  
  
"Any change?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"He saved my life again."  
  
"He saved all our lives again."  
  
Severus tried to block out the discordant voices as he reached out to Regina.  
  
"Shouldn't he be awake by now?"  
  
"These things take time; however he may never wake up."  
  
"Do you think he can hear us?"  
  
"It's impossible to say."  
  
Try as he might Severus couldn't make them be quiet.  
  
"How is your head?"  
  
"It feels kinda funny without it."  
  
"You should be happy it's gone."  
  
"But why has it gone though?"  
  
"The evil that it represented has gone."  
  
"Do you think he's gone forever?"  
  
"I think your scar is proof of that."  
  
Severus realised that this time the voice was talking to him.  
  
"Professor Snape, Sir. Can you hear me? I want to thank you Sir, you saved me again, I owe you my life Sir, Please Sir, wake up now."  
  
Severus didn't want to wake up; he was enjoying floating around freely in the sunny sky. But whose voice could he hear, they sounded familiar. The young mans voice sounded extremely upset. Maybe if he woke up for a little while the boy would be happy, then he could go back to sleep.  
  
Severus opened his eyes slowly and found himself surrounded. Professor Dumbledore, Harry Potter and Madam Pomfrey were gathered round him. It took a few seconds to realize that he was once again back in the hospital ward. He groaned "This is becoming a seriously irritating habit you know!"  
  
To his surprise the first person to speak was Harry, "Thank God you've woken up, I was afraid that you wouldn't, Sir."  
  
Severus wasn't sure what shocked him more, that Harry seemed genuinely relieved or that he had called him Sir, and sounded like he meant it.  
  
"What happened?" Severus addressed himself to Dumbledore.  
  
The old wizard's familiar twinkle was back in his eyes as he said "You succeeded, Voldemort is gone!"  
  
"How, I remember the death-eater arrived and Harry and I fought them, then I saw you arrive with the others then I'm not sure what happened." Severus said.  
  
"Voldemort used his weakening powers to put you under the imperious curse but the effort required to fight it used a lot of your strength, Malfoy missed you, Bellatrix got you, Harry stepped in and protected you until we could get you out. The order fought with the death-eaters." Dumbledore continued seriously, "Voldemort took possession of Harry again but this time Harry had the second potion you brewed, when he took it, his blood became poison to Voldemort, who was forced out. He returned to his own body, we found them both unconscious, Harry and Tom Riddle."  
  
"Tom Riddle?" questioned Severus.  
  
"Yes, Voldemort was reduced back to his human form of Tom, we brought them here and yesterday he died, he never regained consciousness. When he died Harry woke up from his coma," Dumbledore explained.  
  
"So it's over?" asked Severus hardly daring to believe.  
  
"It's over!" replied Dumbledore. "However tomorrow is the start of term, so I would advise you both to rest, I'm sure everyone will expect you at the welcoming meal! We have much to celebrate this year!"  
  
"The start of term, that means I have been unconscious for over three weeks!" Severus said in surprise.  
  
"Indeed, we were extremely worried about you," smiled Madam Pomfrey. "I expect you to take much better care of yourself from now on. Do I make myself clear? I don't want to see either of you back in here again!" she finished looking from Severus to Harry.  
  
Severus relaxed back in his bed and thought about all that had passed. Would the magical world forgive him for his youthful mistakes, would he be able to forgive himself, finally? These thought kept his mind occupied for some time. Arthur Weasley and the rest of his clan came in to visit both him and Harry. Severus was shocked at the genuine feeling's he sensed when they congratulated him and wished him a speedy recovery. Maybe this meant that Severus would be able to make a fresh start, the idea was tantalizing.  
  
Quietly he called for Arthur's attention and asked him, "I know I do not have the right to know, I will not be offended if you do not wish to answer me but I was wondering if you knew where your sister Regina was."  
  
Arthur smiled and replied, "Of course you have a right to know, you saved her life! Dumbledore sent her into hiding in Australia all those years ago. Her last letter told us she and her family are well."  
  
Severus felt a slight sinking feeling in his stomach as he asked, "Her Family?"  
  
"She married about 12 years ago and now has 5 children, all red heads of course! Her oldest will be starting school next year I think it is," Arthur looked proud of the news.  
  
Severus maintained his neutral expression until everyone had left, then he turn and let his disappointment show on his face. After a while he came to a decision, with great difficulty he wrote a letter,  
  
Dearest Regina,  
Your brother told me about you and your happy family, a  
belated congratulations to you all. I am glad that moving  
so far from your family did not stop you having the family  
you always wished for.  
I used to imagine that one day we would be together, but I know  
our time together has past and was never meant to be any more  
than that. Your memory has helped me survive for a long time,  
you saved me without even knowing it. But I know it and I want  
to thank you. I hope you are always happy and can find it in your  
heart to forgive me for my part in your need to disappear so long ago.  
Deepest regards  
From your faithful friend  
  
Severus Snape.  
  
Severus reread what he had written and finding himself satisfied sealed it ready to give to Dumbledore to send for him. It did feel better to have apologised, and he recognised the dreams he had over the years had been just that, dreams. Now he needed to move on and live in the present.  
  
Madam Pomfrey allowed both Severus and Harry to attend the welcoming meal, on the promise that they not exhaust themselves and go straight to bed when it was over. Severus was surprised when he entered the great hall. All the students and teachers rose to their feet applauding, checking behind him, Severus saw no-one, they were actually applauding him! Granted some of the Gryffindor table looked a bit half-heated with their applause, Severus, who disliked so much attention schooled his face to look as normal as possible and made his way to the staff table and sat down.  
  
Eventually he raised his eyes and caught Harry smiling at him, he raised his goblet to him silently, and realised what the whispered conversation had been about in the hospital wing.  
  
Harry Potter, the boy who lived, looked just like a normal teenager, messy black hair, emerald green eyes but his most noticeable feature, the one that had made him famous was missing, Harry no longer had that lightning bolt scar!!  
  
***********************  
  
Hope everyone enjoyed reading this. I'm not trying to predict how the real story would end; only JK can tell us that (though I couldn't resist having scar as the last word). Hopefully she will put us out of our misery soon but until than we'll just have to make up our own! Thanks for reading and thanks especially if you reviewed, I appreciate it.  
  
All your reviews have been extremely kind and helpful; it's such a treat to read them I'm so chuffed!! Anyway sorry about the errors, I tend to forget to check the uploaded version to catch them! I'll try to remember, this story just grew from something I was wondering about Snape, Probably at lot to do with Alan Rickman playing his part in the films, as I like watching him. And I do tend to go and read the stories of people who have reviewed mine, I enjoyed them all! 


End file.
